Highlander's Beloved 02 - A Highlander's Passion Read online

  Bryce stopped and cupped her elbows, revolving her to face him. “Aye. Two rosebuds fer our two little bairns, neither of which got a chance to open and bloom. We canna deny them any longer. We canna pretend these angels never existed.” He inclined his head so that the roses brushed his cheek as well. “Do ye ken their skin woulda been as soft as these petals?”

  The pain in his voice nearly cleaved her soul in two. Tears burned the back of her throat and stung her eyes. “Aye. Soft and fragile as these petals.”

  He blinked several times, and cleared his throat. “Did ye ever name them?”

  “Name? No. I didna ken of their sex.”

  Warmth and trembling vibrated against her as Bryce enveloped her in his arms. Was he treading as near emotion’s edge as she? “Then, today we give them names. We canna keep talking about them as bairn number one and bairn number two. Or as my child and Duncan’s. In me mind, they are both mine. One created by me sperm. The other by me stupidity in breaking off our relationship. They deserve their own names.”

  “Ye mean like unisex names?”

  He nodded, his face buried against her neck. “Good, strong Scottish names,” he answered, his voice muffled against her skin.

  She tightened her hold on him, her arms around his shoulders. Naming the children she’d lost had never occurred to her. “What about Blaine Matheson? That would work for a boy or a girl.”

  “Aye. I like it. Blaine for the first bairn. Now name the second one, Mumma.”

  All emotional control snapped. Mumma. No one had ever called her that. In fact, she’d never felt she deserved the title. She sobbed against his chest, her soul slowly emptying itself of pain long imprisoned by bars of responsibility and shame. Wasna a mother to care for her bairns? To protect them against anyone or anything potentially harmful?

  He rocked her from side to side, never once mentioning how wet she was making him. “Me luv, I have caused ye so much pain. ʼTis time to let some of it go. I hope that one day ye shall forgive me. Maybe we’ll label it as part of me maturing process.”

  She nodded against his wet shirt. “I forgive ye, Bry.” A band of ice encircling her heart shattered and melted, yet more remained. There’d been so much pain these last few years.

  “I’m partial to the name McKenna.” He sniffed and jerked a handkerchief from his back pocket to wipe his eyes. “McKenna Matheson. Will that do for our second wee bairn?”

  She slipped the hankie from his large hands and used it herself. “Blaine and McKenna.” She nodded in confirmation. “Yes, I think I like those names. Now when one or both of them come to mind, I can refer to the child by name.”

  “We can say good night to our angels every night. With names, they’ll stay more real in our hearts.” Bryce took one rosebud and stepped to the muddy edge of the loch. “Come, luv, help me send off little Blaine’s rose.” Both stooped, the pure flower held in both their hands.

  “Fer ye, little Blaine, from Mum and Da.” Scalding tears moistened Kenzie’s face as both of their hands dipped into the cool water to release the rose. She pivoted to Bryce and kissed both of his moist cheeks.

  “Now, for little McKenna.” Bryce held Kenzie close and kissed her forehead as she placed the flower in the water. “From Mum and Da.”

  They sat entwined, watching. Blaine’s rose floated a meter or so away and then, almost as if it had been waiting, didna move until McKenna’s bloom bobbed next to it. Both parents cried, with no shame, as the two little white rosebuds floated off, side by side, across the loch, until they were out of sight.

  Chapter 8

  Bryce wrapped his arm around Kenzie’s waist after they’d both stood and composed themselves. They took a few steps back from the muddy edge before he rested his chin on the top of her head. “Do ye feel better, sweetheart? A little more at peace?”

  There was a particular lightness to her spirit, something she hadna experienced in a long time. She slipped her arm around his middle too. “Aye. I do. Talking about the bairns—”

  “Use their names, Kenzie. We lost two children. Blaine and McKenna. We canna forget them. Just as I canna forget me da or Miranda, me first love.” He gave her a sideways glance. “Notice I referred to her as me first love. She’s not the only woman I’ll ever love, fer there’s been someone else in me heart fer some time now. Someone I plan to romance until she realizes she canna live without me.”

  The fear of his breaking her heart again was too strong. Her emotions where this bear shifter was concerned was a damnable mishmash of resentment and a deep love that wouldna fade. When they’d dated the first time, she’d fallen hard for this charmer who’d told her his little girl would always come first. Having had a da who’d disappeared from her life at such an early age, she valued Bryce’s devotion to his child.

  Still, Kenzie couldna be positive he meant her. After all, Bryce was a magnetic force where ladies were concerned. “I dinna ken if I should be happy for the woman or include her in me prayers.”

  “Both. Be happy I’ve come to me senses. I kent the first time I saw ye with Duncan I’d made a fukin’ terrible mistake. Bloody hell, I got shite-faced drunk that night. I woke up lying among the pines with a rabbit sniffing at me mouth, no recollection of when or where I’d shifted.” He wrapped his hands around her waist, lifted her over his head, and slowly circled. “As for praying, me luv, pray that yer heart opens to accept me love, because I’ve got more than ye can ever imagine…and it’s all fer ye.”

  “Put me down, ye fool.” He’d probably said the same thing to every young woman foolish enough to listen. His reputation as an excellent lover was one he’d no doubt earned. After all, she had firsthand knowledge of how good he could make a woman feel.

  He gently settled her feet on the grass, his laughter deep and sensual, washing over her like warm sunshine. “If ʼtis all right with ye, I’d like to tell Colleen about Blaine and McKenna. She says her prayers every night, prays for both her mumma’s and her grandpa’s souls in heaven, although she’s never met them. I’d like for her to pray for little Blaine and McKenna too.”

  Kenzie backed away. “Ye canna tell a child about a bairn we conceived in the woods.” What kind of parent would do that?

  “I dinna plan to give her a lesson in sex. Just to tell her about two little bairns who died before they were big enough to breathe on their own. I’ll tell her their names and that ye were their mumma.”

  “Will ye tell her Blaine was her sibling?”

  His chin jutted. “Aye. I will not deny me bairn.” They walked along the opposite side of the loch where the swans floated. “How do ye feel about animated movies?” The corners of Bryce’s mouth twitched.

  His sudden change of topic was unexpected, leaving her befuddled fer a minute. “Ye mean cartoons?”

  He heaved an audible sigh. “Long cartoons of the fairy-tale variety. Colleen gets to pick an activity fer us to do together on Saturdays. It was one of the gifts I gave her when she turned five: Saturday dates with her da. She wants the three of us to go to see the latest Disney movie. I ken she’ll be well enough to go by Saturday. I promised her over breakfast I’d ask ye to go with us.”

  “Me? Why would she want to include me? Willna I spoil her date with her da?” She’d feel like a fifth wheel on a car.

  He stopped walking, leaned down, and bit her earlobe, making her gasp and her nipples peak. “Colleen’s excited about us dating and wants to be included from time to time.”

  “Dating? What ye were just talking about, ye were being truthful? Ye mean fer us to date?” He so often teased that a person couldna be sure.

  “Aye.” He reared back and glared at her. “I never meant anything more. A smart man dinna make the same fukin’ mistake twice. I had to explain what the word ‘dating’ meant to Colleen this morning as I combed and braided her hair. Not the intimacies of it, ye understand, but the hugging and kissing and secret whispers. She’s seen some of it with her uncle Creigh and Paisley, but didna pay attention like she will
with us.”

  Kenzie tried to imagine him braiding his little girl’s hair. Poor child probably looked like she had worms sprouting from her head. Even so, she needed to nip this crazed idea of his in the bud. “And just how long will this round of dating last? Two months? Six? The last time, we dated for almost eight months. Do ye plan on breaking that record?” She brushed a bug off her elbow. “Just give me an estimate so I ken how much of me heart to put out there this time, fer ye’ll not stomp all over the entire thing like ye did before.”

  The golden flecks of his brown eyes glowed again even as they narrowed on her. One arm banded around her waist, while the other slid beneath her hair to cup the back of her neck. He stepped against her until they touched from nose to toes. Her body instantly recognized his, and yielded a moist and joyous welcome.

  “Aye, we’ll be dating, because I’ve decided it. Because I shouldna stopped seeing ye in the first place. And ye damn well better put yer whole heart into it, fer I’ll accept no less.” His head lowered and his breath feathered over her face. “Ye belong to me, Kenzie Denune—every passionate, stunning part of ye. Me, Colleen, and our entire family, we all need ye.” His lips moved against hers as he spoke. “But mainly, me, for ye fit against me, every delectable inch, outside and in.” Then his lips covered hers and took control.

  There were no teasing sips about this kiss, just raw power and dominance. He bit her lower lip a few times and then sucked it into the warmth of his mouth. His tongue soothed before moving inside to explore and lay claim. The calloused fingers that had cupped the back of her neck inched into her hair to fist her tresses. He pulled her head back a few inches to break the kiss and stare into her eyes. “Mine. Do ye ken? Dinna even think of looking at another man, fer ye and this sweet body of yers belongs to me. No one touches ye but me. Ever.”

  Saints above, where had this possessive man come from? He’d never been like this when they’d dated the first time.

  His other arm tightened around her waist, pulling her against his erection as his lips made electric contact with hers again. A deep groan of need erupted from his throat. More than a few moans found their way from hers. “Tomorrow night, after everyone is in bed, I intend to make love to you. Fast and furious the first time. Slow and sensual the second.” He smiled against her neck. “Gentleman that I am, I’ll let ye decide on how ye want the third.”

  She shoved him back with both hands. “Ye have a high opinion of yer manly powers, so ye do. Let me ask ye one important question: Will ye be wearing that awful pink jeweled T-shirt to the theater?”

  “Nay. I’ve hidden it under me bed. With any luck, it’ll stay there fer a good week before someone finds it.”

  “I’ll have to check with Effie. If she needs me, I canna go. Make sure little Colleen understands that. If me new boss doesna, I’d love to spend the afternoon with ye both. Will ye be buying popcorn?”

  “Aye, and sweet treats. I was hoping ye would have dinner with us at the lodge. Mum and Effie are going shopping while we’re at the movies, so Effie will be joining us fer the meal too.” He leaned his head against hers. “That was Mum’s idea.”

  “Is this dating thing a family affair?”

  “Aye. Everyone approves of me choice.”

  She encircled his hard biceps with her hands and stared into his eyes. “There are things ye need to ken about me. I dinna lie, and withholding information hurts me as much. Keeping news of yer bairn from ye was harder to do than ye can imagine. I have something else I must tell ye in confidence.”

  His eyebrows dipped into a V. “In confidence?”

  “If ye are truly serious about our dating, then before we begin, there’s something I must tell ye.”

  “Aye, I am.” His chin jutted in resolve.

  Telling him would either make or break this new relationship, but she couldna keep it from him. “I didna know until after I lost Blaine…or maybe it was his loss that brought it all to the surface.” She shook her head. This was going to be harder than she thought.

  To his credit, Bryce didna rush her. He waited, his fingers threading through her curls.

  “I started sensing things.” She glanced at him. “Strange things. Then after I lost McKenna, things became clearer. I realized…I realized I was a witch. I am Wiccan, Bryce. Do ye want someone like me around yer little girl? Ye must consider this.” She stepped back. “I am part of a coven dedicated to helping children and those too weak or ill to help themselves. We keep evil forces away. We are The Protectors.”

  “A witch?”

  She nodded and wiped at tears. “If only I’d kent the powers I had earlier, I could have saved me own bairns, or at least one of them. Isna that ironic? I’m charged to protect children and yet I didna have any power to do so when me own needed defending.” A sob escaped from her throat before his warm arms enveloped her.

  He held her to him and rocked her back and forth in that comforting way he had. Gaelic murmurs tumbled from his lips, words she didna understand. Finally he tucked two fingers under her chin and raised her face to his. “I shall cherish ye all the more. I ken in me heart ye wouldna harm me little girl.”

  She placed her lips to his ear. “There’s more I need to tell ye. This truly must be kept in confidence unless the person involved gives permission to share.” He nodded. “Effie is a witch, too, and is me instructor, me guide into the Wiccan realm.”

  Bryce pulled back, his eyes widened for a few beats. Then he tossed his head back and laughed. “Effie? The crazy American is a”—he glanced around before leaning in to whisper—“a witch?”

  What the hell? She’d expected him to rant and curse. “Aye.”

  He released her, leaned over as his laughter grew louder, and slapped his leg. “Me big brother, who thinks he controls everything and everybody, has married a woman with a Wiccan grandmother?” He wiped away tears of mirth with the heels of his hands. “Och, bloody hell, sweet Jesus, and fook me blind, he hasna a clue, does he?” The laughter started again. “Just wait until the first time he pisses Paisley off and Effie turns his ass into a goat. Or his pecker into a worm.” He turned away, his laughter growing louder by the second. Birds flew from the trees at his racket. “With any luck, his bairn will be Wiccan, too, and give Creighton hell when she or he becomes a teenager. Whoo! Ye have made me day.”

  Kenzie slapped his arm. “I expected ye to toss me aside once ye found out.”

  His arm snaked around her waist and drew her to him. “Och, beloved, if ye can handle me shifting, I can handle yer being a witch, especially since ye are one to help others.” His hand cupped her face. “I thank ye from the depths of me heart fer yer honesty, fer ye had me sweet child’s welfare in mind.”

  — Once they’d reached the gazebo and Bryce scooped the car keys off the chair, he extended them to her. “Can ye give me a ride back to yer old apartment to pick up me truck?”

  “How much do I owe ye? I see there are new tires on me vehicle and the side mirror’s been fixed. Ye’ve yet to tell me why it wouldna start yesterday. How much do I owe ye for the parts and yer time to get it running again? I dinna have much, but I’m willing to sign a payment plan.”

  His mouth gaped as if she’d just spoken to him in Greek. “A ‘payment plan’? Between a man and his intended? What kind of foolishness is that?” He picked her up so that her legs wrapped around his hips and her arms around his neck. Desire darkened his eyes as he stepped her back against one of the support poles of the gazebo roof. He nibbled her neck. “ʼTis a man’s job to make his woman’s life easier.” He sucked her earlobe into his mouth fer a few seconds, long enough for a tremor to travel through her body. A soft, knowing chuckle rumbled from his chest. “What time do ye expect our pink-haired American back? I’ve got one condom in me back pocket that’s burning a hole in me arse.”

  Kenzie laughed, something she so rarely did anymore. “Och, and what a fine sight ye’d make for Effie with your jeans down around yer knees while ye shagged me in broad daylight.”
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  “Yeah, no doubt the old lecher would have her cell phone out, taking pictures while she cheered me on.” He leaned his head back and laughed. “I do love that bawdy woman. I want to be like her when I’m in me seventies.” He glanced around. “Well, except fer the witch part.”

  Kenzie had never driven her car with a man’s hand inching up her thigh. Keeping her little vehicle on the proper side of the road was a bit of a challenge. She slapped his paw. “Hands to yerself, bucko. I canna concentrate with ye touching me like that.”

  Bryce laughed and, leaning against the headrest, glanced out the passenger window. “ʼTis a grand thing being with ye again, getting on yer nerves and making ye pissed. Ye are a delight when yer in a mood.” He wrapped his hand around hers and brought it to his lips, pressing a couple of kisses to her knuckles. “Dinna ever doubt for a minute that I care deeply for ye.”

  She was reluctant to glance his way. Fearful she’d perceive mockery in his eyes, yet equally as uneasy she’d see he spoke the truth. To accept either would require some time and reflection.

  As she pulled into her assigned parking spot, Bryce scanned the remaining items from her apartment. “Well, half of yer furniture is gone. The price of ‘free’ evidently enticed.” She turned off the motor and he reached for her keys. “I need to go inside and check on a few things.” Keys in hand, he jumped out of her car. He leaned one muscular arm on the roof and glanced in the open door. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

  “Wait.” She slid out of her side and ran after him. “Wait! What things? I thought I got everything out of the apartment.” She charged through the open door and stopped. All the many holes in the drywall had been patched, and Bryce was running a sanding bar over the dried plaster where he’d fixed them. “What have ye done?” She closed the door behind her as her gaze swept over the mended flat. The cabinet door in the kitchen that hung crooked after Duncan had nearly ripped it off had been fixed. The door to the bedroom closet that bore her maniac late husband’s fist marks had been replaced with a new one. “How? Why?” The man was like a miracle worker. How many hours had he spent fixing this hellhole of an apartment and repairing her car?